i dont wanna hurt

when iwake the thought of u in my mind cant go to sleep i. see uin my dreams... not good its u stabben me i cant get it out of me head.. it repeats ova and ova again..i want to erase it i do wanna forget but then its like i remember all the sweet things u did... im really going through it tell me have u ever had someone stand with a head with a knife crazy ass shit my soul hurts basically dead can someone answer this why do i still love him after he wanted me dead ... i cant just forget like i want to i dont want to love him like i use to. if i had the power id go back. if i did things diffrent would it change the fact... im trying to move on but its like theres always something that makes me remind. just like the name tatted on my wrist i nevea thouth in a million years he would do this. what happen for him to hate me that much i dont deseve this pain i feel inside i woundsr if ill be able to move on with another guy i know i have to. i just dont know when im not happy with myself how can i be happy with another man this has really fucked me up i cant be alone. it starting to feel like im not as strong as i once was never need no one now i feel lost to not have no one maybe this is a cry for help i dont know yet maybe i wont be happy till im in a casket. u know its crazy as fuck to think this even though ur locked up i feel like ur dead it amazes me what the mind will make u think. i need to be somewhere that doesnt make me think all the pain ive been through in life. i always wonder when it will get better. its always been raining now its just stormy wheather ... god ive prayed to u it aint neva got better. are u even listen or turnt ur ear. if i had a gun to my head would u hear me then r u even reAL Or just pretend im sorry to. have so much anger yes u was there when my life was in danger funny thing u was the one fixen to comment a murderDGC #DGCP1 #DGCYW #DGCXOXO #DGCFAMILY #DGCGOCRAZY #DGCWEWINNING #DGCTAKINOVER #DGCONDARISE #SYLA #DGCBDAGANG #NOCAPSTRAPPED 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