#carryon #TGAC

Today I'm lost Today I'm in pain Choices I've made The mistakes along the way Killing time becomes a waste Wanting family to come to my aid Apologies aren't enough I need forgiveness to get The good stuff I'm shielding my heart From anymore pain Almost scared to confront the day Shattered by death to come Shattered by the ones gone already Life isn't for the weak Life is really heavy For me. The good and the bad I feel it and idk if It's contagious or just Revealing All I know is I'm trying To do the work towards healing I try alot of avenues Just haven't found the right Path. Looking for signs But I keep coming back I don't know what I'm Missing. Just know I'm Paying attention. I can't go on like this much Longer I'm really trying to be Stronger. I don't want to miss Anymore I can't endure it. I'm Not even looking in the mirror Anymore. I'm putting myself through it. I don't look up much either I look down and all I see Is fear. Like an ant about to Be stomped On, I don't know How to just carry on. I've spent so much time Being a mom so much time Being a friend trying to Understand where it all bent It's been hard to straighten up Since you went. I know I've made my mistakes and Choices but the cost was so Outrageous I feel like I Should be in a coffin. The purpose is what drives me The questions I know I gotta be finding Answers I hope that come, won't be alarming Stop looking for others to answer me Holding my own self a little higher each day Then maybe times could change I could carry on like the rest of you. I wish I could be happy I wonder what that means to me But this time all my Colors have turned blue In tribute to you. The pain that I carry on is baggage I'm still Unloading, I can't keep on living And toating. So I gotta work this Stuff out and get rid of how I view To turn baggage into thin air by Taking accountability, Ownership Dig deep until you get closure Earn my spot on the way out With a smile half crooked I am feeling lighter now.