too late?

Too Late¿ It’s 2am and I’m wide awake, I can’t stop thinking about what you said Our past memories keep overwhelming me, I ask myself: why didn’t I realise how much you meant to me? Tears start rolling down my cheek, I feel so guilty, so small and weak “Why couldn’t I just accept your love and stay?”, This question has been haunting me everyday I scroll through our past messages tentatively, Realising how you had waited for me so patiently Even after numerous night falls, Why didn’t I ever give you a call? I realised that maybe I was too selfish, You were just right there- why didn’t I cherish? “I will be here for you” was what you said, Why didn’t I ever say this to you instead? A crushing sensation pierces through my heart, It seems as if my entire world is falling apart “I deserve this, you went through this too”, I will willingly suffer pain and sorrow just for you It is selfish for me to say that I want you back, I have always loved you- it just took time for me to realise that It’s too late, you seem to have already moved on; What else can I do, but to pretend to put on a strong front? It’s too late, maybe your heart is somewhere else You didn’t wish me on my birthday- I can infer from it by myself We both made mistakes, but you tried to make up for it; I did too, but maybe, I was the cause of our second split You’ll never read this, but I want you to know, I have always had feelings for you- it just didn’t show I have always been terrible at texting and directly expressing my feelings; over messages might have been what was misleading There are so many things that I want to tell you, One of it is that it takes a lot not to call you If me contacting you brings you pain in any way, Even if it means suffering on my own- I won’t do so; I’ll act like everything is okay Don’t let my mistakes affect you and become your shadow You bring a ray of light and comfort to the people around you, I hope one day, you’ll find someone who is like this too “We’ll see what happens four years down the road” was what you said, Four years have passed- what have we become instead? From being friends, to lovers, to friends, back to being strangers; Will this cycle repeat? Or is it too late for us Every time I walk past you or see you from afar, My heart beats crazily fast, it just adds on to my scars It’s too late for me to apologise and , isn’t it, My finger hovers above the ‘send’ button… should I click? 2am The longest song I've ever written 👀😳😯 #love #heartbreak #sad #worry #miss #happy #joy #lonely #mind #feels Change My friends say I'm perfect, But they don't know what’s behind the grades The “pretty”, “hardworking”, “talented” me, A lot more is going inside then what you see No one except God knows who I truly am, Well, I’ll tell you who I am I'm a guy who wants to be wild and crazy like a normal kid, But can't because I'm expected to be a perfect little kid I remember when I used to be an outgoingguy But for now I hide in my she’ll I used to like hang out with friends, But soon, that had to end “Your cousins got straight A1s for their exams”, “Your cousins got perfect scores for their A levels” My other family members raised the bars of expectations, Little did I know, that had to be my expectations too I wonder how long more I can keep up with this pace, With all the pressure around me surface I just want to live, humble and true, Lord please help me live my life for You Thinking back on all those nights spent with you Barely exchanging words Mostly swapping tongues between us two I still wonder why it was so easy For me to fall for someone Who plays for a living Not caring about who they could lose Making me feel special was step one Attention was two Saying you missed me So easy for you to do Now I see How easy It all was for you Even if you never really cared I can't say that I really regret those nights I wish we could be together I wish we could fight I wish that you would come back into my life slow the feelings were an adversary when I saw what the world spoke, but emotions caved in once everything's been told by your eyes and those painting kiss. right there and then is when I knew why I was so intricate in what I said— I didn't want them to know me the way I know you. still. i live here on the bedrock tunnel vision it’s difficult to see sometimes it’s just grey there used to be easier ways to get out before i became baggage left behind, raided and rotting a shell of what used to be there Daisy Darling Jul 2021 Remember the times? As I lay in this bed, All I can think about is us, Remember the times where we talked about ahead? Walking on the sidewalk, All I can think about is us, Remember the times where we would just talk? Standing in the shower, All I can think about is us, Remember the times where we had willpower? Sitting on the bus, All I can think about is us, Remember the times where we didn't fuss? The Way I Did Before DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, in feels I sang in a dream:) first one that I see at all black tides just in my head end of all the endings doesn't need a pretend smoked slowed wandered pondered not in the mind reasoned in the heart a door for every season what for eyes and more same pose me a symphony overdosed kinda right should've known from sight hall grabbed chances and crowned a red blood teared down and drowned fine lined like twelfth hour dream blinds As I close my garage and drive away, all I can think of is the escape; Is it really an escape or easy to not let them see the pain. My heart is heavy; my mind go 100 💯 miles an hour