lifes crazy

I was born, my faith was already decided for me and for how my life was being torned..apart. I didn't ask to be here, I didnt ask for this struggle, pain and dispare. But theres nothing I can do about it, not hurting the people in my life. I used to belive in yin and yang, that everything evend out..that the pain would switch to bliss, but I guess my ship missed that turn and took another route..lifes a bitch an then u die, it used to be my view. I never been religious, but Ive become more spiritual, after all shit that ive been through. I used to have desires, motivation and alot of hope, but when Life stabbed me in the back, I lost all of that and turned to dope. Addiction is an illness, a battel you can not cheat, in order to defeat, IT. Same goes for life, bee good, follow rules, getting brainwashed by society, go to school and only learn about bullshit. But ive always been one step ahead, but i will never forget the person that I am, Im just acting as someone who fits into society instead. its crazy, and no one sees it, no even one care, what matters is how much material things they have, while others who have nothing, cries out for help, wich they pretend to not notice, its so fucked up, its so fucking unfair. Some have it all, while others almost struggle to breath, cuz the anxiety they get from the feeling of defeat. Be egocentric and ignore doing good deeds..you get points and reach next level. But its game over if you help the people who's in need. Seems things are balanced as I thought, yun and yang, good and bad, but its not distributed equal for everyone to have. Instead its divided yin for som and yang for the rest, ifceveryone got some of both, I think that would be best. Belivers tell me lifes a test, and that all is gods plan, that he cant interfere, and If I don't agree they just say I just dont understand.. But I do belive in God, but not the way you think, Im am God an so are you, we are all gods, were one, all people in the world are linked. Eitherway, life goes on, so just keep on fighting, do whats necessary, even it might be wrong. Sometimes you cannot follow laws & rules, I've cheated many many times, in order to eat, live, to survive, I just do what I belive is necessary, I need the same things to live as you..So Im saying this, I always speak my mind. The word is powerful, And so far freedom if speach isn't a crime. Its crazy