whats a mothers day without my kids

looking at my time its 8:17... laying on my trunk todays mothers day.. staring at the sky I reapetly ask god why ... so many questions like why I lost my kids and why my momma die damn I hate fucken days like this there my air i need them to breath holding on so tightly I cant let go. drowing in tears i feel so alone hit another blunt. damn I miss my childhood home trying to put my mind at ease especially on days like today. I hate to be reminded of what I dont have i miss my kids so. damn bad people dont understand it all this pain inside of me damnit like somebody. standing on my chest I need that weight off of me I dont know anymore I think about it constantly. my time in prison fucken hell straight misery 36 months came and gone 2019 i lost my mom. didnt think nothing else could go wrong Lil did I know January changed my life as I faced death. getting stabbed with a knife.. sometimes I wish ID let him end me so I wouldnt feel all this pain inside of me. and its like no body cares. .. it hurts to feel like Im walking this road by myself no one to guide me. . lf I aske for directions r u gonna help or are you gonna point your fingers and say I caused this on myself ive done alot of shit in my life that I regret but I didnt deserve ever losing my kids its like my body is a freezer cause my heart is frozen you say im heartless no im hurting. and it sucks cause u dont see it I dont do much talking i put my thoughts into music.. ive never had anyone give a shit. 3 years in prison my family. didnt exist. I was gone totally forgotten no letters no calls I was a faded memory no one missed at all im really going through it .. and that letter u wrote. yeah I read it. you say im distant and im pushing you away. its really fucked up. i dont know what to say. I dont want u to go. ive told you a million times but eveytime u say im lien. I cant make u believe me but damn im tying yes I get mad at let shit build up. but the things u say really fucks my head up ur voice echos in my head. im leaving I hate feeling like this its all my fault. damn have u felt this way all along then u wonder y I act like this my heart cant take to much more emptiness its bearly beating I cover it with anger I dont show any weakness as soon as I do I get stomped to pieces sometimes I wonder if ur trying to find a reason for leaven. time will tell if my love is worth keepingtreninemusicgroup #DGC #Swampnation #rapfame #WorldWide @moderator_en @iamking.8634 @ladylouise @swampnationc.e.o #freestyle #rap #hiphop #locoent #bmvideo #bmbest #2021 #Itrecord #new #banger #fire #hot #trap #1 #music #rapoholicrecords #love #underground #staywoke #bars #rapfamebest #heat #elitebars #paradox #paradoxrecordsunderground #locofamily #theinstitute #rapper #2020heat #2021heat #feature #rapfametv #bmgrind #battleme #sharktankent #sinkorswim #ram4life #dope #bm #microphonebeast @MRDECEMBER @iambabyquan @CWHITE #ONEDEEPENT @mrpickofthehost @phillygang @ether6600 @smoov23smoovass @discoverjourney @jdiamondz #Trendsetters @tcatastrophic @Olespit #RaqLegendNative @loulivy @viperthevicious @sacequeensny @62thafkr187 @realtslk902 #freedastreetz #spaceshootentertainment #Kobain #Contest @mikeg100 @cecilialove @stiffa @joepiff @bugsy.3087 @barakosoul #KRR @battlerapsinister @lane @SALUTEKNOWLEDGE #realmusic #DAZE #ultranation @rapgames_only_raptor @tnm_tray @repentless1 @sonnygodflow @firstplace @shortyrockz #Everybody @Freddywise #fweverybody #playlistready #barzallday #VERSATILITYINC #rapfamegod #fkpeffery #fkhenno #fksyla #WEDABEST #BMFEATURE #fkkingofgunhill #3bgsnitchalot #NOSNITCHING #STOPSNITCHING #200SHOUDABEENFEATUREDTRACKS #FUNKYCOMPOSITION #RAWFLOW #2F @MODERATOR_EN #MODERATOR_EN #MODER_JUDGE_EN  #Divineintervention #Elitebarz #TrueHerosUnderGod #DGC #TRUEHEROSUNDERGOD #RAPFAME #BATTLEME #FREESTYLE #1 #HIPHOP #POTW #2021 #MODERATOR_EN #BMFEATURES #@BMFEATURES @MODERATOR_EN  #2021HEAT #LOCOENT #STAYEWOKE #HIPHOP #2K21  @joepiff @2rue6lue @liberia @jlynoffical @brockdamien @Dse.lorspitta @geniqck @mightysupa @LUCIPIMPODIN @NoMoneyLikeLoeMoney @givenchygotit @damiansimgleton @jayking187 @fatboiq @colbertwillis @ sunkidboppermentruthm... @ambermarie.5389 @northernlite @crayrae @Lyricalpassion @jakejake.257 @neilarmsbong @bad_bundy @ITSJLEEBITCH @Jrmurkz @ponomo @ya77a77ine @skinnypunk @MONEYMIKE777 @killerleprechaun @droozybeats @thekala @wackdaddy @rainydayz @itzjayroj @repentless1 @chuckx608 @zkid607 @realmccoy866 @johndoe718 @terrellmickey   @carolinareaper @Kingspades @supremebeatsuk @affectionsean @hoodbornthadon @telfon_formally_dbt @FlowFessional @fre3spir1t @mrdecemeber @dastir @ozsum @Tutu4lyfe @Mike.bigelow @smoov23smoov @yt3_ @brellyg @loyalkaangoffical @nolabel_lilwoadyman @mynamejdog  @simoneettore  @maexanoix lordSIRISO  @nasearbishop  @dethiendour  @john.4036  @rydoggcensta  @ShiffTCapone  @MilDc  @Dangotshands  @sheloves_leobih  @jocqklo1onegmail.comjocqklo1onegmail.com  @tragicnewport  @Vestige661 @MC.SquareD  @OldSchool1967  @RahClipperhandz  @mc.l.m.itch  @ShayMac  @OBDmiles  @stiffa  @w0keSense  @barger  @opmking @QueenCakes    @rosewater  @nicolasdubeau  @ThaOneYouEnvyin  @RealMCK  @darnellwhite.9582  @busyboy  @CizzilOUTthaVILLE  @setapart  @Maniacc_Myleek  @junior.4006  @BornReal  @josue.8843  @stohnestohne  @pringcipledlorris  @NewErafE.Chatmpagne  @papasito  @The_Real_Clutch  @palehustlasin  @TheOnlyAlmighty  @M0T0  @M0T0