I never made mistakes. You called them acts of resistance. So I learned to lie about my failures, And regret my own existence. A new day brings fresh hurt, Reminds me that I’m nothing. Your knife’s been dull for years, But that won’t stop your cutting. Did you know what you were doing, When you sabotaged my soul? True you gave me life, But it’s not worth the one you stole. Still I have to wonder, Am I sure you’re truly bad? You’ve given me enough, To make me doubt the thoughts I’ve had. You’ve been calling me delusional. I think I’m starting to believe, That all I really knew, Was how to misconceive. You can call me crazy, Or tell me no one cares. But I choose to trust my mind this time, And listen to my nightmares. You seemed good from the outside, Most people do. But I remember what was on the inside, Each molecule you put me through. They say it’s never easy, To learn you grew up in the dark. At least I have your gaslight, And its tender lifelong mark Because I am a good person, I will mother and worry over you. Because I am a kind woman I will let you have your way. Because I avoid conflict I will let it slide. Because I am tired and conflicted. I will pretend that didn't hurt my feelings. Because I am a loyal woman... I will do my best to make you happy. Because I am a good woman, I will put my feelings aside. Because I was raised like this I'll keep quiet... I will make excuses for how you act towards me. Because I am a good person Because I'm the daughter of a preacher man I can't ever leave you. No. Because I love you, I will let you tear me apart. Because I have mad love for you, I will let you drown me. Because I fell for you, I will never leave you. Because honor you, I will do anything to keep you here. Because I value you, I will let you walk over me. Because I love you, I will let you use me. Because I have mad love 4 you, I will give up everything for you. Because I... Because... Because I was raised too fucked.