*okay man I am going to admit - that I have been an addict ever since I was a kid *it started out with Mountain Dews, sammies, candy, chips - then progressed until I weighed enough, at twelve!, to sink a ship||Ohhh-Three charted seas, plotting courses always keen to quickly set the course that guaranteed avoiding enemies||until it was revealed that I've been cosmically entangling and even interchanging atoms from my being - **impossibly start sequencing: I'm Primed, I'm Charged; Ionize Me *suddenly strange happenings occurring all too frequently becoming tropey cheese in movies released straight to DVD - still trying somehow with futility to come across as deep - like philosophically >>> and probably so obvious to see how hooked to Christianity's machine mindnumbingly left me with just enough relief to fairly say I'm resting well and well assuredly developed fantasies to feel the precious blood of Christ rain down on me but its only for swallowing *along with hearing voices sing informing me sporadically that i am saved so there will be a day that comes when i will see her face again and physically be reunited with my momma, Kym, for all eternity affirm *and that belief was honestly the greatest high there'll ever be *depresses me because i came down from that high officially when i revoked all faith in supernatural shit that i can't see *the rest is history i went questing for new extremes - now rapidly unraveling the saddest things I've ever dreamed||at age thirteen shifting, hurling myself at g.o.d.- sure thing was to ignore all of the facts and try to just believe *so easily i eased into the state of mind that seemed - reasonably likely to see me freed from grief's imprisoning *feebly, i reached safety but on a technicality, see - in reality, reactively i cling to anything - that even if it's only for a moment, will be sure to bring my biochemistry into a state eliciting new ways my neural network's stimulation causes me to finally feel the surging of real dopamine the dragon's seen, no more chasing at least until tomorrow morning at the earliest i think