3AM

I hate this shit, how in my mind i replay a shit, overthinking, am thinking i really should go to bed n sleep. i really need rest, this feeling can mess with your head, too complex, it mesh and fucks my mental state. i am still figuring out what man i would be, tryna fix you but baby, am even broken, and m really hopin, you would save me, am barely copin am self loathing, drowning in my self pity. and its wrong to expect that you would mind read me. maybe am selfish ya, this aint really healthy ya, to expect you'll respect all my silent rules, am violent am cruel, i call myself a fool. i expect too much just to hurt myself. i think i do it intentionally, just to fuck myself. maybe i should calm down and learn to love myself. . but lately i think i cant even trust myself. tired of acting so strong, i need to lean on. closed myself for too long, like i never belong. i am doing it on my own, even i need some' am fine maybe am lying to myself. maybe i need to keep my ego down and cry for some help. see am a man, am taught not to feel shit but its 3am, my head starts spinning and i dnt know how to deal with. sounds filmy, really its real n crazy. i wait for someone to help me, no one comes to save me. babe i cant open up, i bottle up, and soak it up, and hope it just, goes away. but why am i sad tho? i have a fam, friends and best girl i could ask fo' all these emotions got me mad bro, some wrong in my brain, maybe i need to relax tho. ya i guess everything s my fault, thats a low-key yes. yo i can't even text this shit, too afraid for face to face. so i put ink on this page, phrases after phrase. helps me vent n undress my stress. i know i shouldn't ask so much i should give you space. am working on everything. am flawed am a mess. am grateful for everything i have, am blessed.