unsaid notes

I..... still gotta alot unsaid I... still got this puncture in my chest I.... never meant to be so low I never wanted to be solo but now your gone and I'd thought I'd feel so alone! I feel like every moment rushed time never stops the beat in my chest is lost I feel dead and gone what would happen if God just removed me from the world? I vent alot I got no one to vent to.... so positive thoughts is what I look through not the pictures of me and you your forever lasting regretted memory ugh I.... choke on my words everything becomes slurred life is just one big blur life is a movie scene mine isn't perfect mine isn't worth it mine been tortured im not lying I can't afford her so I.... ponder on life wonder if its precise wonder the exclusives wonder what im doing right! so I overthink my options I'm so limited I feel this predicament verse2 I.... feel some guilt cause what you did I.... feel the price that I give you.... need medicated I don't care you can hate me I'll say it I pictured you as a queen but all along your just a hoe like the rest put me to rest wished you the best panic attack can't catch on my breath I'm losing the hope I feel it no cope I'll rank up just watch your jealous just along with the others my life I'll live it better I dont care if your cold you'll be lucky if I even give you a quarter I..... gotta a lot that I go through everybody thinks of me as a god so theres no corner to turn too nobody that I can just run and go vent too you think you know what the fuck ive been through but I question myself I hinder my health consider im better off dead in a trench under a bench ugh, fuck maybe I just wasn't cut out for it but I try and hold on to it but I feel I loosen my grip feel it slip like this useless time that was spent