life is hard but only what u make of it growing up never thought that this game I'm living would ever come to a realisation wishing for defeat  for a purpose beyond this beat this life is putrid so fucking stupid I was prosecuted for my stupid ways of life my brains deprived and I'm fucking fried all I can do is try need to stop getting high beat this ferral addiction my brain cells popping mother fuckers dropping dwelling on a game your stuck in  day in day out same shit same crowd there's so much more to life then acting like a clown it's like a merry go round always hearing that sound gotta make it  out of this town leave it all behind decline the undefined meaning live a normal life get back my morals become a model  and defeat this devil thats got a hold of me unfold the untold  I need to do it for my family mum & dad im sorry for being a disappointment  im sorry for the choices I chose they just arose and at the time I thought I'll go with the flow  I swear I'm going to make it out of this life I swear I will make use proud  leave this crowd behind I owe it to levi and malachi my two baby boys I know I've destroyed I catny blame no one else but my self  I'm sorry mumma isnt there with use I'm sorry I done nothing but abuse my self with a drug to sujuice the pain of losing use both  im sorry for how things turned out i will overturn this concern i will fight till the end of this  world and emerge into the life that I want for both of use  I will have use both back quicker then use know it im a winning no quitter and that's  a promise I gotta do what I gotta do to see through this darkness I never chose this path of life I just didnt know how to handle life on my own i  hit rock bottom it's the worst feeling to ever endure coming from someone so pure my self worth my self pride was all taken away from me I do not wish this feeling upon my worst night mare this life I have been living is so messed up I need to get my life back get my life on track start living my dreams I need to leave pretty please lord jesus give me the inner strength to pull through because I'm to true to my self I do deserve me health it's all in my inner beliefs to become that one who's the winner of overcoming this putrid addiction it's the friction that comes with it I'll win the petition and eventually over come this ferral addiction