Once a Year
Slidin' down the chimney. He entered my house. He handed me a present. I said get the hell out. Forget the milk and cookies. It's time for you to leave. Always interfering every Christmas Eve. I don't believe in you. Can't you leave me alone? You're just imaginary like the talking ice cream cone. Pants around his ankles as far as they could go. Wrapped around his genitals - festive mistletoe. I couldn't help but laugh, it was flaccid you, know? I hurt his self-esteem: his blood pressure rose. He reached into his sack, pulled out a bat. Had the drop on him first, so I fired my gat. He didn't exist, so of course I missed. Rolled out of the way, and man, he looked pissed. Just watched Home Alone so I knew what to do. I chopped down the tree, and the ornaments flew. All these different hazards, scattered all across the floor: less like my living room, more like a war. He was Vietcong, and I was Uncle Sam. This wouldn't play out like it did in Vietnam. He bypassed the traps that I set on the floor. He approached like a Ninja, and I ran for the door. Strand of lights in my way. Fell and hit my face. The commotion that it caused ignited a blaze. Santa wasn't scared. Santa wasn't fazed. A sinister grin spread across his face. Flames in his eyes made him look insane. I opened the present: the one that he gave. the one that said, "Merry Christmas, Dave." Aerosol spray, for the win. Pulled out my lighter, and I aimed for his chin. Everything melted, including his skin. Took a stocking from the mantle. wrapped the thing around his head. I didn't release, until he was dead. Found my medication, as the house collapsed. Didn't realize that my sanity lapsed. Got myself a room at the nearest hotel. After 7 showers, there was still a smell. I sat on the bed, and turned on the TV. Breaking news report. It was all I could see. My family burned. The killer was me.
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Slidin' down the chimney. He entered my house. He handed me a present. I said get the hell out. Forget the milk and cookies. It's time for you to leave. Always interfering every Christmas Eve. I don't believe in you. Can't you leave me alone? You're just imaginary like the talking ice cream cone. Pants around his ankles as far as they could go. Wrapped around his genitals - festive mistletoe. I couldn't help but laugh, it was flaccid you, know? I hurt his self-esteem: his blood pressure rose. He reached into his sack, pulled out a bat. Had the drop on him first, so I fired my gat. He didn't exist, so of course I missed. Rolled out of the way, and man, he looked pissed. Just watched Home Alone so I knew what to do. I chopped down the tree, and the ornaments flew. All these different hazards, scattered all across the floor: less like my living room, more like a war. He was Vietcong, and I was Uncle Sam. This wouldn't play out like it did in Vietnam. He bypassed the traps that I set on the floor. He approached like a Ninja, and I ran for the door. Strand of lights in my way. Fell and hit my face. The commotion that it caused ignited a blaze. Santa wasn't scared. Santa wasn't fazed. A sinister grin spread across his face. Flames in his eyes made him look insane. I opened the present: the one that he gave. the one that said, "Merry Christmas, Dave." Aerosol spray, for the win. Pulled out my lighter, and I aimed for his chin. Everything melted, including his skin. Took a stocking from the mantle. wrapped the thing around his head. I didn't release, until he was dead. Found my medication, as the house collapsed. Didn't realize that my sanity lapsed. Got myself a room at the nearest hotel. After 7 showers, there was still a smell. I sat on the bed, and turned on the TV. Breaking news report. It was all I could see. My family burned. The killer was me.
cool💥