stained pages

I’m just tryna do some good I ain’t ever think that I really could But I got it in me so yeah I should I didn’t know that I actually would Ohhhh uh ohh I’m gonna change the entire world All this pain will finally be worth It for the people I will heal the earth I promise you that it all will work I’ll give life what it truly deserves I will ease all of your concerns It will be humanity’s rebirth Unifying it with the universe I’m telling you, sit back and observe We are on the edge of an epochal turn Civilization will heal and learn I’m just one weird guy on my own I’ve been beaten with broken bones I’ve been lost out in space all alone I’m gonna change the whole world from my phone People might hate me I don’t even know It’s really scary, it makes me feel cold Heart still lovely it’s just that it froze I don’t have a heartbeat i think it’s broke My femininity makes me feel whole But I think the world will see me as a joke I think it will make me wanna grab the rope Atleast I will make the world better I hope No one is able to tell me I won’t I know I am good my soul will float What I am doing is doing the most This good world came from my dome I just hope the world cares for me the way I cared for them, you don’t even need to love me but just treat me as human, I am weird and made bad decisions but I’ve made changes, I’ve learned and grown, I live in guilt and shame, as it’s a bunch of stained pages The changes I’m making I’m changing my ways and I am not faking I hate the way I’ve been when I was depraved and masking the pain and self hate with self love and self appreciation I was tryna heal and thought it was a better life that I was creating I’m just tryna help the world I can’t keep holding the world All of my bones are broke Crushed down into the dirt Hands on my own throat Touching where was once a rope I got really fucking close But then god said nope