Loopy Dreams

loopy dreams Intro The room is still, but my pulse won’t slow I shut my eyes and I already know Round and round through the same old scene I’m caught again in these loopy dreams Verse 1 I wake up shaking, sheets soaked through Cold sweat on my skin, heart breaking loose The ceiling swims, the shadows lean I’m halfway awake, halfway in the dream I know it isn’t real, but it feels so near A door in my mind and the dark is here I try to call out, but my throat locks tight My body’s frozen while I’m fighting the night Pre-Chorus The pills bring quiet for a little while Let me breathe, let me sleep, let me fake a smile Then the calm wears thin, and the fear creeps in A change in the prescription, and I’m starting again Chorus — Sung I’m having loopy dreams, they go round and round, or so it seems Close my eyes—okay, I’m right back there I realize I’m dreaming, but it’s more like a nightmare I know I’m in a state, but I just can’t wake Fear and anxiety paralyze me; I groan and shake Just before the death comes, the one that I await I awake to the shakes and the cold-sweat ache ’Cause the loopy dreams won’t stay away Won’t let me rest, won’t let me rest Loopy dreams, loopy dreams Loopy dreams, oh, loopy dreams Verse 2 — Extended Rap Back in the labyrinth, spinning in circles, the scenery switches but never gets distant A flicker, a footstep, a face in the frame, and my brain goes ballistic, persistent I’m conscious enough to be counting the seconds, but still can’t convince my limbs to move The panic is patterned, the terror is practiced, the same old track with a different groove It’s déjà vu with a jagged edge, a cracked-out carousel, a midnight race I’m chasing a doorway that shifts down the hallway, the walls rearrange and erase the place I know I’m asleep, I know it’s a dream, but knowing don’t loosen the grip of the fear My mind says “wake,” but my body stays locked while the end of the nightmare keeps drawing near Then snap—eyes open, the room comes back, I’m gulping the air like I ran for miles Hands still trembling, jaw still clenched, trying to gather the pieces and summon a smile The medicine helped, then the help wore off; another adjustment, another steep climb A rollercoaster in loops and drops, with no warning bell and no finish line So I breathe through the aftershock, name what I see, let the dark be dark, let the moment be now One foot on the floor, one hand on my chest, one slow breath—somehow, somehow I’m more than the nightmare, more than the shaking, more than the nights that replay in my head Even if sleep takes the long way around, I’m still here when the dream lets go of its thread Chorus — Sung I’m having loopy dreams, they go round and round, or so it seems Close my eyes—okay, I’m right back there I realize I’m dreaming, but it’s more like a nightmare I know I’m in a state, but I just can’t wake Fear and anxiety paralyze me; I groan and shake Just before the death comes, the one that I await I awake to the shakes and the cold-sweat ache ’Cause the loopy dreams won’t stay away Won’t let me rest, won’t let me rest Loopy dreams, loopy dreams Loopy dreams, oh, loopy dreams Bridge Maybe morning’s on the other side Maybe dawn can find me, maybe I’ll be all right I’m here, I’m breathing, I can feel the floor This is now—not the dream anymore Outro Round and round, but I’m still here Through the shaking, through the fear Close my eyes, let the night pass through Loopy dreams don’t get to choose Loopy dreams, loopy dreams I’m still here when the morning comes Loopy dreams… let me rest