"Why"

Why must I be so unhappy?//Why can't my soul be at peace?//screams in my head, wish I could hear my fuckin self think at least!//The visions & images, thoughts & feelings, they cease,//no longer troubled by vivid dreams of people who are deceased!//Why cant I be strong, & do the things I know are right,//not be so tempted by all thats wrong//& every risk in sight?//Instead be tempted to write a song//or write lyrics all through the night//but Im tempted to smoke a bong//get drunk & start a fight!//Drink 'till Im fuckin numb//& I can no longer feel//lack of sleep is makin me dumb//nothin seems like its real//heart is poundin just like a drum//shoulders are rigid as steel//head is throbbin//like a sore thumb//hearin a high-pitched squeal!//My nerves get so bad,//I feel like Im gonna get sick//just so damn angry & sad//I could snap the fuck out so quick//none of the shit that Ive tried//ever seems to do the trick//values & lessons applied//but shit never seems to stick//need to decide before I fuckin reach the end of my wick!” Why do I get so mad//when I hear a bird sing?//Why am I never glad?//Whys it so hard to do the right thing?//I wanna know just what the fuck is act-u-ally wrong with me//& why the fuck am I so scared to be what I truly know I can be?//Why do I always get the feeling Im meant for somethin big,//but never follow through, or pursue, Im just too tired to dig//They wanna know the reason I always give up & bail...//cause it hurts so fuckin much to be here, cause all I do is fail!//My whole life Ive accomplished NOTHIN for which I should be proud//“I fuckin need to do somethin!” The thought echoes so loud!//There are times I dont do whay I should//youll never see me take a bow//I feel Ive done all I could//shouldnt feel how Im feelin now!//& it dont matter a bit//but I do the best that I can!//Maybe Im just too chickenshit// to be a mothafuckin man!!”