Knowingly Unsure and Uknowing

I was on my way. Kept my head up and never let this smile fade. But pride got in the way. Lessons learned and hate forgave. I tore it down and rode the cascade. I floated away. Let this hot air start to fade. Before I rode this wave. and pulled away, From selfish blame. And stayed the same. Held this shame. And lead the parade. Before I let it all fall like rain, Let the tears show my pain. Let these scars be all I gain. Take my thoughts reckless a7nd untamed. Take each loss and wreck this helpless brain. Take this cross, God never heard me anyway. So take the belief I never had away. Take the faith I never had or retained. And giv me more than countless excuses I'd regain and maintain... And I ain't never had shit. Then when i got it I Stayed in that shit for so long that I became it. I ran game for so long that I remade it. Ive said it for so long that now I aint explaining shit... Came through the scene like a whirlwind, Ain't bragging. But swift with this impact ive left because i ain't lagging. See I carried this baggage, All this weight i could manage. I parted this red Sea and ended up getting myself stranded. But I fought my way out with the sword I was handed... I got out and came up with more of a breath, To attest, With these words id invest, And yes, Believing im the absolute best. I stood the test, Came out above the rest, And came out above all the stress. Might not believe in a god, but believe im blessed. Might miss a few or more steps, but still fully ready for wats coming next. Ya... Im the first pick who doesn't second guess. I've found assurance in these words and songs ive prepped. I use it to energize each given breath. With words ive had pressed. Inside of each of their heads, The haters who instead, Would try blazing ahead, With bullshit still being fed. Humility being the broken path they tread. But wound up only getting left instead. So I'll set this resting bed. Put the nail in the coffin and I'll take the hammer to that nails head. I'll set it myself instead, And drive it in with depth. Signifying myself and the drive ive given while swept. Under the rug and left. But I couldn't be left when I was always right. So instead I left that dread behind and found sight. No longer blind I also found might, No longer bound with a worry or fright. I was ready and scurried towards the fight. And whether I won or lost, like I might. I chose to back up wat id talk with everything I had inspite, Of putting it all on the line, And risking a gamble that might, be the one to take me out this time, despite. The trials I've overcome, each fight. The comments made from everyone, like ya right. Ull never be enough, we'll enoughs right. See im tough because of it all, that's right. I've shuffled the cards this time, Dealing each hand with no fright. Given these owed dues, I might. But being owed myself too, I might, Just eat my words and take that final bite. I might, Be unheard and let each words be lost to flight. But fuck it if its lost in spite, Of the claims I've made, I'll bite. The fame I've gained, I'll rise. And stay above this shit like a kite. That's right.... Im broken. Ive stayed wearing it with all to see, open. Ive treaded lightly without coasting, To that downward sloping. Still fully hoping. Still the fool barely coping. Still facing the noose, so ropin Still igniting the fire by poking. The small flame until its growing. Still unsure, Still unknowing. Still lieing to once again help myself with coping. But nope, no coping left showing. No breath in these lungs, so no breath means words are left unspoken.