pain and depression

i want you to live have a happy life not a sad life i want you to prosper and be free none of that toxic shi i just want you to be free from of all your pain. all that pain is killing us its not good for us we need to find peace long live us we made it through all this pain soon will break through and be one together once again. i wanted you but you didn't want me you lied to me told me you loved me when none of thst was true told me it would have to be secret no one could know. we said forever you said you loved me it's all a lie now im in depression trying to find a new bitch but it ant helping this pain i might not see the next day. sometimes i sit and think to myself if we could ever work out if you would have never did the shi you did and kept running to yo ex but yk fuck all that right im a man i cant be hurt. im a men I can't be hurt thats a lie im going through so much depression and pian all i think about is taking my fucking life away. all this fucking pain and agony been keeping me up at night going through my head so much i just want to blow my shit i just don't wanna blow my high. everything in my life fell apart i have nothing to live for just take my life away and won't think twice im already dead on the inside. ive been going through the ringer so much that i dont know what to do with myself i want to end my self but i dont wanna let my momma down.