WHEN I'M AROUND YOU

WHEN I'M AROUND YOU Yeah— I tried, I cried, I stayed, I prayed, Gave you real love, never came halfway, Kept it cool when I wanted to explode, Kept my mouth shut while my heart got broke. I miss you—shit, yeah, I still do, Love don't disappear just because I'm hurt by you, I can be mad, I can cuss, I can scream, Still wake up missing you like, “Was that a dream?” I tried to keep peace, tried to keep my cool, Tried to understand, tried not to look like a fool, Tried to say, “It's okay,” when it wasn't okay, Tried to hold myself together while you drifted away. BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU— What the FUCK was that? What the fuck did you do? Said you loved me, then moved like you didn't have a clue. One minute you're close, next minute you're gone, Got me sitting there wondering what the hell went wrong. You knew what hurt me—still did what you did, Then looked at me like, “Girl, what is this?” WHAT IS THIS?! It's the shit you created! I gave you my heart—you mishandled, misplaced it. And don't get it twisted, I ain't saying you're evil, I'm saying your choices hit me harder than lethal. You could've been honest, could've kept it straight, Could've spared me the pain, could've changed your ways. But you didn't. And that's what cuts deepest. Not that I loved you— I loved you completely. And I ain't ashamed. I was real when I said it. Real when I stayed. Real when I forgave. Real when I prayed. Now back to me— I'm pissed! 😤 I'm hurt! I'm tired! I'm sad! I'm angry as fuck at the shit that we had! But I'm STILL HERE. Still breathing. Still standing. Still loving. Still planning. And no, I don't need revenge just to prove that I mattered, Don't need another man just to make your heart shatter. If somebody new comes, then whatever—let it be, But I'm not using somebody else to get even with thee. I'm gonna be me. More confident. More strong. Still soft-hearted—even when the road gets long. And yeah, I might miss you. Yeah, I might cry. Yeah, some nights I'll still ask myself why. But loving you doesn't mean I gotta chase, Missing you doesn't mean I gotta stay in the same place. So WHAT THE FUCK?! Yeah, I'm saying it loud. You hurt me. I know it. I don't need a crowd. But I don't hate you. That's the crazy part. After everything? I STILL GOT LOVE IN MY HEART. So take your choices. I'll take mine. You live your life. I'll rebuild mine. No get-back. No games. No fake-ass show. Just me saying: I LOVED YOU. I MISS YOU. YOU HURT ME. AND I'M STILL GONNA GROW. That's the truth. No filter. No disguise. It is what it is. But baby— I'm still alive. 🔥 I gotta tell you something, so listen when I speak, When I'm around you, jealousy gets underneath. I try to keep it peaceful, try to keep it discreet, But when another woman comes around, I feel the heat. I know you ain't my man, so I know I can't complain, But tell my heart that logic—it's screaming through my brain. I tell myself, “Relax, girl, don't let it drive you insane,” Then I see you giving her attention and I'm feeling that pain. I play it cool, but cool ain't really how I feel, Smile on my face while my emotions get real. I don't wanna start a fight, don't wanna make a scene, But jealousy creeps in between what you say and what you mean. And yeah, I know you got women, I know that's how you move, I'm not saying you're a criminal for doing what you do. It's just when I'm around you, I get caught up in the view, 'Cause deep down, I want your attention focused on me too. I ain't trying to control you, I ain't claiming that you're mine, I'm just fighting with these feelings that I struggle to define. I can tell myself a thousand times, “Girl, you'll be fine,” But my heart don't follow orders when it comes to you and I. You say you love me, and those words hit different when you say 'em, Then I see you with somebody and my jealousy starts raging. I hate that contradiction, hate the way my feelings change, One minute I'm completely calm, next minute I'm deranged. Not crazy—just emotional, caught deep inside my head, Replaying little moments, every single thing you said. I don't wanna be possessive, I just wanna feel respected, Like I'm somebody special, not somebody disconnected. So if I'm acting distant, if my attitude gets cold, It's probably 'cause I'm battling a feeling I don't show. I don't want another argument, don't want another blow, I just want you to understand the reason that I go. When I'm around you, yeah, the jealousy gets loud, I can hide it for a minute, but it follows through the crowd. I ain't asking you for promises, I ain't asking for a vow, I'm just telling you the truth— When I'm around you, I get jealous. And I don't know how To hide it anymore.