bavk

FLOW ONE A life of twitching, body itching, didn't know withdrawals were this condition, Took a pill when I was eleven, just to see what I was missing, This shit in my life, I didn't envision, never pictured this position, Pain is all I see, pain is all I know, pain invaded my brain, And it won't let itself go, every memory echoing the same, My head is aching, I'm dedicated to taking medication, Determination, rehabilitation, fighting for a better destination, Ultimate sedation was the target, now I'm targeting salvation. FLOW TWO But the things I had to do for it still sit inside my memory, Regret repeating, recollecting every reckless act repeatedly, Fifteen-plus years upon the streets, homeless, high and barely coping, Money wasn't even getting high, it only meant the sickness wasn't showing, Swapping sickness for a second of relief, then sickness came again, If I'd known the price attached to it, I'd have minded my own business then, As God is my witness, nobody chooses chains and calls the prison freedom, No one wants addiction, but addiction makes you serve the need that feeds it. FLOW THREE People, places, situations, aggravations, all the same, Muppets talking, mouths are flapping, while I'm battling my brain, Scenery became a cemetery for the person I once knew, Every street became a sequence of the things I had to do, Then I hurt somebody badly, and the memory won't release, I can't undo what I did, and that truth destroys my peace, They were angry, I was reckless, I got them forced out of their home, Next day I watched them leaving as a family, and I stood there on my own. FLOW FOUR Now I look at what I've done and feel the weight of every scar, Prodigal son, product of the slums, wondering how I got this far, Raised in Ballymun, came from nothing, thought I'd show them how it's done, But I did wrong, I did a lot wrong, now the reckoning has begun, Can a man repent for damage when the damage can't be reversed? Can you change the ending when you're haunted by the worst? I don't know if I'm forgiven, I don't know how long it takes, But I'm facing what I did instead of hiding from mistakes, Twenty years of pain behind me, still the future isn't written, The past can stay a prison, but I don't have to stay its victim.