Hard Way to Live

I Used to have to get fuckin faded Every morning just wake up... i wake up... I said... I used to have to get fuckin faded every morning just I wake up... Wake up.... Just So I could feel Ok an forgot about the bullshit that i got stuck Here Living With.... Whenever I needed somebody as a kid nobody ever seemed to give a shit... And thats the only way I taught myself to clear my mind... I dont need the sun to keep up on my shine... As long as im workin hard everything will be just Fine... I need to stay in my own lane so I can stay Sane... If Dont this Anxiety is just gonna rot my brain... Idk how long i can deal with this pain... Sometimes I cant tell if im still inside of a dream.... Or My reality has got to blurry to tell the difference between.. All of truth and all the lies Do Yall No what mean??