winds of change

caution after the point of losing closeness cant trust anybody after im giving bullshit apologies only showing how much im important losing out on my sleep disturbing me 3 in the morning early drama on the problems im causen too many complaints surely you never heard my manners but i did give you thanks now i wonder where the welcomes went to not missing me history repeating more insanity me being crazy no mystery you see why so fuck explaining play by play wasnt like i was needing to be alone leaving me home day by day shoulda of knew the wind of change were blowing i had stomach aches i felt delusional intrusive thinking accusations feeling stupidter saying hurtful words being abusive started believing the cheating was my fault but i was losing you looking at a written list of mistakes after mistakes but still looking at potential focusing the best i could at ever principle nothing making it go back the way it was to me nothing seemed the same that was love to me stressing and pain playing a differnt hurt to my heart it was getting torn up and shredded apart pieces of me falling everywhere guess thats my essance to remember me by what if my time of death is the same as your babies delivery time god given and god takin sometimes im still cursed forgotten that im forgiven doing too many toxins while im still liven im always the defendant so nobody gives a fuck how im feeling being self centered makes me more suicidal so i try to be generous im always handing out these rhymes for balence to help center my head