FUCKED UP DRAMA

fucked up drama. House always loud, never felt like home Dad’s rage in the kitchen, mama on the phone Screamin’ “this is love” while they tear each other down So I learned early: never let nobody stay around Now every little raise in her voice got me tight Hands clenched, jaw locked, ready for the fight I don’t even hear the words, just the old familiar sound Of two people who swore they loved me burnin’ it to the ground Boo-hoo, childhood trauma Fucked-up dad and a fucked-up mama Taught me that love means drama Hostility was the problem solver Except nothin’ ever got solved Go figure, tryna reconfigure my brain I’m triggered by arguments Reactive, I’m on defense Course my girl is on the fence She say “baby talk to me,” I hear “you’re about to lose” So I go cold, go mean, pick the wound I didn’t choose She ain’t my mama, she ain’t my dad, I know that in my head But my body still flinches like I’m eight years old in bed I want her close, I want her safe, I want her in my arms But the second she pushes back I start ringing all the alarms Push her to the edge just to see if she’ll jump or stay That’s the sick little test my childhood taught me to play I ain’t proud of the pattern, I ain’t proud of the wall I’m just a kid in a grown man’s body still waiting for the call That somebody’s gonna stay even when I start to fall That love don’t have to end with drama and broken hearts Boo-hoo, childhood trauma Fucked-up dad and a fucked-up mama Taught me that love means drama Hostility was the problem solver Except nothin’ ever got solved Go figure, tryna reconfigure my brain I’m triggered by arguments Reactive, I’m on defense Course my girl is on the fence …and I’m still hoping she don’t leave song inspired by russ @rapfame_ar_team @Rapfame_official #fudrama #DADDYJ13