My Wife Knows How to Relax

(Verse 1) Got a couple master’s degrees, yeah, my brain is elite Spent an hour looking for the phone that’s under my sheet I can calculate the physics of a rocket in space Then I walk into a door frame right on my face Sitting on the couch, got my favorite girl beside me Looking like a goddess from a magazine, entirely She looks in the mirror, talking 'bout a tiny spot Girl, you look like a million bucks, stop playing, you're hot! (Chorus) We just chilling on the sofa, doing nothing all day Smart guy, silly moves, throwing worries away She’s a perfect ten, but she thinks she’s a five Got the popcorn, got the Netflix, just glad we arrived Yeah, we relaxing, no stress in the room I’m a certified genius with the brain of a broom! (Verse 2) I read quantum mechanics just to fall asleep quick Tried to toast a pop-tart and I burned the whole stick She's sitting in her sweatpants, hair in a bun Complaining 'bout a wrinkle that is literally none I say, "Babe, if you're ugly, then the sun isn't bright" She just rolls her eyes and tells me, "Put the cereal away right" I put the milk in the pantry, put the box in the fridge IQ of two hundred, but I’m missing a hinge! (Chorus) We just chilling on the sofa, doing nothing all day Smart guy, silly moves, throwing worries away She’s a perfect ten, but she thinks she’s a five Got the popcorn, got the Netflix, just glad we arrived Yeah, we relaxing, no stress in the room I’m a certified genius with the brain of a broom!