I'm Sorry

[Intro — soft R&B] My soul been broken, Sitting back writing this song, soft spoken, Things I've been through, I ain't proud of, But I'm finally saying it all. For my babies...k [Verse 1 — fast trap/R&B] Pillows soaking, I was crying through the night, Getting beat, getting threatened, trying to make it right, In front of my babies, they were watching all the pain, Saw me lose myself and try to find myself again. He made me think I was nothing, had me living in my head, Punched me over n over in my head, hurt me, left me scared of what came next, Had me feeling like I couldn't breathe, couldn't run, Still I had to be a mother when I felt like I was done. Hot water running, trying to wash away the hurt, Feeling like I'm nothing, wondering what I did to deserve it, Then a goodnight kiss like everything was fine, I kept asking myself, “Why did this have to be my life?” [Pre-Chorus] I wanna scream from a mountain, Tell the whole world what we knew, But before I say another word, I gotta say this to you... [Chorus — melodic] My babies, I'm sorry, from my heart, from my soul, For the things you had to witness, for the things you had to hold. I'm sorry for the trauma, for the anxiety, For the years I wasn't myself, for the times you needed me. My babies, I'm sorry, I can't change yesterday, But I'll spend the rest of my life loving you a better way. We're gonna laugh, we're gonna smile, we're gonna make it through, I lost myself for a while, but I'm finding me for you. [Verse 2 — faster] You heard him call you dumb, say you stupid, say you're wrong, Called my daughter out her name, made you feel like you didn't belong. He wanted 2 Kicked you out, broke your hearts, made you question your worth, But none of those words were ever what you deserved. You were with me through the struggle, saw me hurting, saw me cry, Saw me trying to hold it together when I didn't know why. I was mentally abused, following who I thought owned me, So lost inside that darkness, I forgot the girl you used to know me. Stopped calling up the family, stopped going out, Stopped having any life, barely knew myself at all. And I'm sorry for the times he's say fuck u all, I was drowning in that house, trying not to fall. [Pre-Chorus] I know it's hard to feel normal, When you've seen the things you've seen, I know anxiety can follow you And steal your peace. But my babies, hear me clearly, You don't have to carry mine, Your future isn't what happened, You can heal in your own time. [Chorus] My babies, I'm sorry, from my heart, from my soul, For the things you had to witness, for the things you had to hold. I'm sorry for the trauma, for the anxiety, For the years I wasn't myself, for the times you needed me. My babies, I'm sorry, I can't change yesterday, But I'll spend the rest of my life loving you a better way. We're gonna laugh, we're gonna smile, we're gonna make it through, I lost myself for a while, but I'm finding me for you. [Bridge — beat drops] I didn't mean to make you hurt, Didn't mean to make you scared, Didn't me to stay in fear When you needed me right there. I wish I could've protected you From everything we knew, But I was trying to survive it, And I was hurting too. I'm thankful I got away, I'm thankful I can finally breathe, Now I'm gonna make new memories, Just you and me and family. [Final Chorus — full beat] My babies, I'm sorry, from my heart, from my soul, For the years we lost together, for the pain we had to hold. But we're gonna laugh again, we're gonna smile again, Make beautiful memories that the past can't take away. My babies, I love you, And I hope one day you'll see, I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was trying to find me. And I finally got away, Now we're finally free, The life that comes tomorrow Is the life we're gonna see. [Outro — soft] From my heart... From my soul... My babies, I'm sorry. I love you. And we're gonna be okay. I love u Xavier and Aaliyah