Internal Run

Internal Run By TD I’ve spent so long doin nothin but organizin my memories, Organized ’em, put shit up in displays, still, it’s like a maze. I’m talkin callin out shit that I’ve seen, stayin silent in the sound, ’cause I’m always listening. Talkin ’bout mappin the pain, stayin up in my own lane, be tryna not complain. Weatherin the storm, I’m standin in that rain. Don’t ask for shit, ’cause that becomes a transaction I can’t complete, Don’t like unnatural or conditional interaction. I’ll say it once, simple and plain, pull the parachute if it needs a repeat. Breakin down systems in my head, tryna understand what had me drained. Now even that has me beat. Rememberin my losses, feel heat, Rememberin my gains, say sweet. Remember my old softball games, catchin behind the plate, it’s a mix, Say sweet but feel the heat, reminiscin on those days, And the shit got a lil kick, but I still eat. It’s almost like I’m standin right there, it’s so clear to me. Close my eyes, see the picture like a highlight only I can see, Call it internal instant replay. Replayin the plays so vividly, It’s like gettin a front-row seat. Yeah, my memory will amaze, I remember shit real quick. Nah, it don’t give me another option, It delivers me to a different world when this one starts feelin like I’m in too deep. Daydreaming, night dreaming, but I’m never asleep that often, So it’s kinda eternal. It’s like an eternal run, but only internal, And it ain’t always for fun. My mind makes a world out the mess, Then saves it after like a rough draft in a journal. And shit, I’ve been mappin it out. Yeah, my imagination just keep runnin. To some, that might sound like a gift or somethin. It’s more like bein too aware to not stare, Like my brain connectin or creatin more dots To continue the show without carin ’bout what’s fair. Like movin too fast to remember slow, Then draggin it out till my battery is all the way past low. Then wakin up 18 hours later like… Bro. What day is it for real?— Oh yeah, no one’s there. So I grab my phone, Look at the time, look at the day, say, “No fuckin way it’s already Saturday.”