This is Me

[Verse 1 static in my attic, automatic thoughts attack erratic, never static, every memory distort and crack mirror shimmer glitching—different figures interlace like my inner critic splitting into six within my face triple vision, indecision, every choice a coin toss heads I’m lost inside my mind, tails I’m buried in the cost palms sweating, heart beheading any calm I try to build trauma bonded to my logic, every wound I never healed tempo in my chest but it’s offset, misaligned like a metronome was broken in the mechanism of my mind every second stretching tension till it snaps into a spike fight-or-flight igniting lightning every time I grab the mic writing like a lifeline, fine lines in a notebook crooked thoughts I overcooked, hoping someone understands the look in my eyes—coded cries, loaded lies I tell myself stacking problems on the shelf but never asking for the help [Hook] im drifting, shifting—different visions in between what I’m living, what I’m given, what I think I’ve really seen im slipping, gripping—on the edge of my control every breath a debt collected, every thought a heavy toll im fading, jaded—trapped inside a fractal maze phases changing, rearranging in a smoky mental haze if sanity’s a salary, I never got it paid so I negotiate with demons just to make it through the day [Verse 2] late night, stage fright, staring at the ceiling fan feeling like my healing never part of any bigger plan ghosting all my close ones—or maybe I just phased away out of sync with everything, I couldn’t even stay the same promises I polished now are tarnished in the past every goal I ever wrote eroding quicker than it lasts running loops around regrets, a repetitive design every step I take ahead just multiplies what’s left behind mind racing, time pacing, no brakes on the lane thoughts chained, migraine, high-strung in the brain vision pixelated, like the future lagging frames every hope corrupted data in a system full of pain they say “hold on,” but my grip is getting thinner fingertips are slipping quicker, losing balance in the center if I fall into the void, is it peace or just a deeper level of the same despair, a darker, heavier sleeper? [Bridge] product of the pain or a prisoner to perception? every lesson turned obsession, every blessing a deception highs collapse to lows, every peak becomes a pit every lyric that I spit just confirms I’m stuck in it still breathing, uneven, but I guess it counts for something even when my inner system’s always self-corrupting trying to reconstruct what I abruptly tore apart with a pen that bleed my thoughts and a mic that pump my heart [Hook – repeat] im drifting, shifting—different visions in between what I’m living, what I’m given, what I think I’ve really seen im slipping, gripping—on the edge of my control every breath a debt collected, every thought a heavy toll im fading, jaded—trapped inside a fractal maze phases changing, rearranging in a smoky mental haze if sanity’s a salary, I never got it paid so I negotiate with demons just to make it through the day [Outro] tasting colors while the grayscale suffocate still awake, trying to break from the cycle of the state if I make it through the night, maybe I can recreate— or just wake into the same loop, different day, same fate