Somewhere deeper inside me

#Somewheredeeperinsideme #McCP'ssongs #eternalsouls Intro: I know I’ve been hard to hold… Even harder to understand… Trying to stand on my own feet, But I keep sinking in the same sand… There’s love behind the damage I’ve done, Even when I disappear… I’m still here… just lost somewhere Between the weight and the fear… Verse 1: I’ve been tracing all the cracks in the mirror every morning, Trying to recognize the face without the weight of all the warning, Every promise that I made, yeah I meant it in the moment, But the night comes back around and I’m dissolving in the noise again… I know I hurt the ones who stayed when I was barely even present, Turned their patience into scars, made their kindness feel like penance, And I carry every look that said “we don’t know who you are,” ‘Cause I’m shifting like the tide, never anchored, never far… And if there’s still a way to rise from everything I’ve been, From the damage, from the doubt, from the war beneath my skin, I don’t need to be forgiven, just a chance to finally see… If there’s something left worth saving… somewhere deeper inside me… Chorus: I’m still here, even when I fall apart, Holding on with a half-beating heart, Through the dark, through the weight I can’t outrun… I don’t know how to be who I should be, But I’m trying not to lose what’s left of me, If there’s light… I’ll keep reaching for the sun, keep reaching... Verse2: I remember when it felt like I was finally getting stable, Waking up without a war, putting distance on the label, Had a rhythm, had a plan, even started feeling proud, Like I could exist without disappearing in a crowd… Then it creeps in, slow and quiet like a shadow in the hall, Little thoughts turn to a flood and now I’m drowning in it all, Every trigger like a spark to something I can’t contain, And I’m back to chasing numbness just to soften all the pain… I’ve said “this is the last time” more times than I can count, Watched it break into excuses that keep shifting the amount, And I hate the contradiction—wanting change but needing ease, Like I’m bargaining with demons just to get a moment’s peace… I pushed love away again when it was honest, when it stayed, Turned a future into distance just from choices that I made, And I saw it in their eyes when they decided they were done, Like they loved me through the storm… but couldn’t live inside the one… Now the silence hits different when there’s no one left to call, Just reflections of my voice echoing against the wall, And I’m sitting with the truth I tried so hard to outrun— If I don’t learn how to hold myself… I’ll keep losing everyone… I’ve been counting all the days I said I’d finally change direction, But they blur into a pattern of regret and self-deception, Every step I try to take feels like it circles back to start, Like I’m building up a future with a fractured kind of heart…