Sorry

apologize to my children once again, I know u probably wondering when the pain will end. Mommy messed up made wrong decisions and because of me we are apart, I know u probably tired of me breaking your hearts. Again i must overcome this obstacle and i will continue to fight, But thats no excuse for my choices and no matter what I will make it right. I hope u still love me and accept me for who I am right now today, Just know that im not giving up on u and Im not far away. Im to blame for everything me not u my love it is not your fault, U matter the most u didnt ask to be here u wouldn't understand if you was never taught. Please understand those selfish days with the sickness im fighting they may come again, Im trying to find me and love me so i can love u and our struggle will come to a end. Soon my babies i will get our family out of this messed up situation, Who says motherhood doesnt come with its trials and tribulations. As soon as i can get us right the pain in your hearts will no longer live, I will mend your hearts from that pain even if you're not ready to forgive. Every second we are apart i miss and love u will never give up that is a fact, For now its no goodbye's for it is soon we will have our family back! It's impossible to know that you child is still okay, To protect your child was your job, so you think you failed in every way. When your child is no longer with you and still so very young, You can’t help but think there must be more you could have done. Because you didn't do what was needed u failed u must confess, Now daily wakeups for me are extremely depressed. You turn the music up and sob while in your car and the shower hides your tears, You know you can’t survive this kind of loss another day, another month, another year. Yet, the years go by and you realize you’re still alone, Although you did all you knew and could, your child did not come home. They take my children and rip me of my rights as a mother, Now the everlasting pain I'm covered hurts like no other. The child you carried and brought into this world has gone away, There’s nothing left to do but pray and pray . How evil are those who desire nothing more than to destroy the mother-child bond, You continue to seek justice, but the gut wrenching pain goes on and on. No matter how huge the loss, you have no choice but to start another day, Without your child that gave your life meaning in every way. So now your lifeless all you want to do is die, So confused on self worth low self-esteem thinking why try. The crazy thoughts on why they had to go makes no sense at all, They say brain surgery to be with them or allow your family to fall. You lie down at night and think of your child and feel so all alone There is nothing in this world you want more than for your child to just come home.