MENTAL CRY

Me as a mother I still struggle Drug addiction mental health depression is hard to juggle 9 children at home wondering where was I Stuck in the past hurt and traumatized When I First lost you as I layed in that hospital bed Everything went black inside of me was dead It’s like they tore out my heart and soul I’m shivering and shaking life is cold Told myself it’s okay they’re with family Mentally broken now starts my insanity In my head brokenhearted no longer a mother The state says the best thing to do is give them to my brother So far in life as a mother I failed Someone get me out this place called hell Dam right now I can really use a hug But instead I chose to cope with a drug Brother keep calling I’m not picking up the phone Kids crying out for their mother to just come home Fighting these demons now look what I did Children forced to raise them selves missed out on being kids Suicide attempts I feel like giving up Forget this world I swear I just had enough Take a full pull blow it out in the cloud That just made the voices in my head grow loud Hospitalized These Doctors have the answer Made situation worse now battling cancer Never slowed down hitting liqs with cloudy visions Robbery gone wrong now I’m off to state prison Where your just a number better yet an inmate Co’s give two fucks you belong to the state In and out of the infirmary my health only gets worse Days going by I feel life has run its course Time goes by finally receive proper help Health on track now time to work on self Years flew by now I’m finally set free Stay clean and sober is how it must be Support from my brother him praying for me to do right At the end of a dark tunnel is forsure light Take it one day at a time everything will be okay Focus on doing right there will be better days Everyday heart heavy looking in my children’s eyes The shame I feel as a mother not able to provide The time I spent away in myself I can never forgive No it’s just a struggle for me to just accept and truly live I’m here now that’s all I can do is try Doesn’t make up for those tears I seen you cry