the way she talks

I don't know if I'm the illest, My homies in the neighborhood, same shit, willing to rob you if they want, that's the only way to get easy money. You talk about me but you have no idea what I've been through. Sometimes I just wanna cry, I feel like a humiliated guy. I just wanna make you fly. What you say? Better stay away from me because I can kill you twice. You don't know what grime is. You can make a decision and roll the dice. do not obstruct the line. I'm so mad , you suck, I'll put you against the fence. I don't care if I have to dig you. I'll slap your face like I hit the ball and diss you. Fuck what they say! I gotta nail you. Let me see what you got . Open fire just to see who's the fighter. it's not the same. I look into your eyes and see a lost look. Even though I speak to you, my words mean nothing to you. This has taken over my brain. I'm so thoughtful today and every day. I'm trapped in a silent circle that disturbs me. I have a beer and it calms me down, but when the effect wears off I go crazy again. I used to sleep next to you, now I sleep on the couch and think about you. I still feel uncomfortable having a routine with you but we are nothing, just fulfilling a task. I see how you change everyday. I don't know if my son is suffering from seeing me go to another house and not sleep with him.. I'm tryna be strong but it hurts so much , I think I'm losing control . I've been looking for ways to improve but you never give me an answer. If it doesn't work, just give me a sign and I'll understand. Don't play with me or my needs. If I made a mistake, it's normal, just like you do. she believes in third person. She doesn't pay attention when I'm talking to her