Bottom Bars

i been drowning in my thoughts, I don't swim, I just sink, Every smile that I show got a crack in the link. Every loss that I took made me sit down and think, Now my heart heavy metal, but it bend when I blink. I was raised in the storm, couldn’t bend when I broke, Had to breathe through the fire, every breath was a choke. I was sleep in the pain, but I never awoke, Used to cry in my hoodie so nobody spoke. Used to bleed on the beat, I don’t talk to no priest, Ain’t no church in my chest, just the war and the grief. I got brothers in graves, I got dreams on a leash, Tryna run from the past but it bite like a beast. I been low, I been lower than the floor in the cell, Where the light don’t shine, and the soul don’t yell. Where you pray for the end but it stretch like hell, And your own damn thoughts be the bars of the jail. Had to fight just to stand, had to crawl just to see, Had to lie to myself just to say I’m at peace. I was broke in the mind, but the world saw me eat, They don’t know ‘bout the nights I was dying to sleep. Every friend ain't a friend, every smile ain't true, Every “love you” said once got a knife running through. I been stabbed by the ones that I gave my last too, Now my heart got locks, and it stay bulletproof. They don’t feel what I feel, they don't know what I know, Had to bury my pride just to watch others grow. Had to sit in the dark with my hands on my soul, Screaming “God, if You real, then just take this control.” But I’m here, still breathing, still lost in the mist, Still talk to the sky like I’m writing a list. Of the ones that I lost, every name that I miss, Every time that I wished I could die for a twist. Now I walk with a limp from the wounds that don't heal, Got a laugh that’s too loud just to hide what I feel. I’m a man on a rope, tryna balance the real, With a past full of pain and a soul I conceal. Yeah, I done seen brighter days but they dim in my mind, Used to hope for tomorrow, now I’m lost in the time. Tryna piece back the frame from the glass I can’t find, Told my past “I forgive you,” but it still won’t unwind. I been bruised from the love that was laced with a lie, Put my trust in some hands that just waved me goodbye. Used to stare at the ceiling with a “God, tell me why,” Now I write to survive, every word is my cry. Got my head in a war, got my heart in a sling, Got regrets in my gut that just sting when I sing. Got my pride on the shelf, got my soul in a ring, Fighting shadows of myself just to feel anything. I been locked in my thoughts like I’m trapped in a vault, Blaming me for my trauma like it’s all my fault. Tried to carry the world till my backbone halt, Now I lean on the mic, let the pain find salt. Every verse that I spit is a cut I ain’t healed, Every rhyme is a scar that the world tried to steal. Every breath is a battle, every truth I conceal, Till I bleed on the beat just to prove I’m still real. I done begged for a sign, I done whispered to ghosts, I done sat at rock bottom tryna make the most. I been cold in my chest with a flame that won’t roast, Now I talk to the void like it’s me and my post. Ain’t no fame in this lane, just the hurt and the cost, All the time that I spent for the people I lost. I was love to the ones who just needed a boss, Now I’m love to myself — that’s the realest I got. And they think I’m okay ‘cause I walk with a grin, But they ain’t see the war that’s been fought from within. They ain’t felt that silence that’ll crush your skin, Or the guilt in your chest when you call it a win. So I vent through these lines, I confess through the flow, Let my soul take the wheel when the pain start to grow. It’s a prayer, it’s a purge, it’s the truth that I show, From the dirt to the stars, yeah, that’s all that I know. so