Deepression Disorder

I don't have a paid version of the app. I'm at a point in life where my thoughts want me dead. My loneliness is deep and also literal as it is a daily battle. I have no support morally,no family, no friends,no woman,nobody to ever talk with. I'm home 24/7 and really don't know anyone. I'm depressed and my heart hurts. being good has always been for me very painful at best.