who's the illest?

No one looks at what I do for you, the only person who knows what I think is my dear God, others only criticize my sacrifice and do not consider the effort I make. Honestly I'm getting bitter every single day but you don't see that. It's all just manipulation and you always portray me as the one who doesn't help you and always lets you down.I don't know if I'm the illest, My homies in the neighborhood, same shit, willing to rob you if they want, that's the only way to get easy money. You talk about me but you have no idea what I've been through. Sometimes I just wanna cry, I feel like a humiliated guy. I just wanna make you fly. What you say? Better stay away from me because I can kill you twice. You don't know what grime is. You can make a decision and roll the dice. do not obstruct the line. I'm so mad , you suck, I'll put you against the fence. I don't care if I have to dig you. I'll slap your face like I hit the ball and diss you. Fuck what they say! I gotta nail you. Let me see what you got . Open fire just to see who's the fighter.