why?

why am I so dead? Why am I so depressed I have presses all the pills taking the stress. Why am I so dead? Why am I so depressed I have pressed all the pills taking the stress. I am not ok but when u see me I say im ok I've been begging for so fucking long but nobody picks up the phone I aint in the zone I'm gone I disappeared for so fucking long in so fucking wrong. why am I so dead? Why am I so depressed I have pressed all the pills taking the stress. I have been broken for so long that I just keep making songs. I just want the gun. im so fucking done.why am I so dead why am I so depressed I have been pressed all the pills taking the stress....stress I'm so fucking. dead.....dead......dead.......dead....dead I want to believe her but I'm just no sure and all my insecurities make it so fuckin hard she always catch me of guard I don't feel alive I don't feel alright I just want to die.