My mum says I’m colourful, my friend says I’m magic but I’ve never seen a football game. That’s tragic. My Nan says I am

My mum says I’m colourful, my friend says I’m magic but I’ve never seen a football game. That’s tragic. My Nan says I am as sweet as sugar, but I don’t think she knows me well, because I am as mad as a a bull my mum thinks I’m poor but I’m actually rich and guess what now I’ve got a bitch