Off my chest

shoulda told my Dawgs we outchea gambling wit our life..out on da block serving rocks all day n night..lord tell me do we eva get a break. how many more yu plan to take..sometimes it's hard to separate..da real from fake..I'm not defined by my mistakes..made sum choices dat I hate..n I been down for too long..how much longer will it take..fo me to blow..I need to kno I watch my migga catch a body..I ain't neva told nobody...not a soul..dis world is cold.cant trust nobody else.unless ..its me myself...somethings i just had to accept..n I started poppin pills..to try to heal myself.Lord it was really times I want to kill myselfN Done done somethings Ill carry to my death..yeah..yeah.i lived 9ne helluva life.N if I had one wish..Id wish my sisters back..just thpught i shpuld mention dat..n mama i apologize..cross my heart n hope to die.ill tell yu this a thousand times..Ill love yu to the day I die.but I been goin thru sum things..n I been livin shady..hard to accept..dat I'm no longer yo baby..Mind way different den da way yu tried to raise me..I was dying for your help..n was begging for yall to save me begging God to save me..battling depression..n dem drugs started to change me...maybe yu won't understand..n I shouldn't explain it..mad at da world..like everyone tryna play me..n dey tell me dat I'm crazy sometimes I feel I'm cursed..but ik it's always someone got it worse..lord help me thru dis pain..ik sometimes..dat it's gone have to rain..but I promise wit all my heart dat imma change..one of dese days