late night thoughts

woke up from a dream man the shit felt so real sweat on my forehead head and tears in my eyes why the thoughts of suicide.. day by day all I wanna do is succeed I've been blessed cause man I can breath but some days it hurts I swear my world is upside down all these lyrics come from the heart I feel deep deep down. The shit I've been through made me humble but it's no less of a struggle some days I wanna die and just end this shit but I'm strong and that's not it to give in and just be another victim of a broken heart broken dreams I'll never quit.. I stand tall cause that's the way it's gotta be I got no one to rely on just me it's not make believe.. so many know the feeling of pain but the shit I've been through I should be in the a grave 6 feet under rose thrown on my soul from my little brother. I just want people to know the real me but the visuals they see isnt real they never reach.. got so much hate in my heart and I just keep it locked inside I don't want another to feel this pain I got too much pride.. some days I struggle not to be the old me drugged out heart full of loneliness drugs hit my system had me feeling like there wasn't a worry in the world but I was tearing mine down... Hidden tears cause why if I show them they're judged so it makes sense to keep it locked inside... I've never been perfect lord knows I've tried it's a losing battle with broken pride.. Ive lost so much through out this journey that the shit doesn't hurt me any more heart cold mind sore. Any time I go to cry something tells me inside to keep ya head up you'll be just fine.. is there a higher power man I don't know but something kept me alive