is this my life did this really happen better fasten my seatbelt with quick action I was once in control I was the captain I lost the passion my sight set on a bright future my dreams are flattened could you imagine. so let's raise a toast to the a****** who had the most but he's so good at f****** everything up I'm not one to boast but I might as well be a ghost got to lay in the bed that I made I'm the host I'm not a doctor I can't diagnose but I got to get away I think I'll move to the coast with my innermost problems I can't cope I don't want to feel that s*** give me some more dope. not trying to be a zombie and mope I know it should have more hope but this s***'s a slippery slope the gun already cocked got you in got you in my scope you want to see the good things in my life get a microscope. but I can still dream sometimes when I look at my reflection I still see that gleam in my eyes I take a step back I take a deep breath and I want to cry but then I just scream cuz I already know I'm not going to get clean it's like trying to swim upstream no self-esteem in my mind I plot and my scheme but then reality hits me in my face like some hot steam everything ain't always as a seems I'm good at taking s*** to the extreme I have to change the theme my life I have to take back I have to redeem like a bandwagon fan I think I'll jump on that team if you ain't lived before you don't know what I mean