cause and effect

so im sitting here almost at a loss for the words that can remotely express the way i feel right now when will i heal the anguish and relentless accounts in my mind where im constantly trying to keep my life out of a tangled mess to keep my life out of a bind lord knows no matter what im never able to just stay out my mind and uh sometimes i dont mind but right now i do honestly cant believe the hurt and pain i keep putting myself thru cause and effect causing an effect that had caused and most definately effected cause im not sure what im gonna do the majority of my life has become nothing more then wasted time wasted lies wasted life gone now and finally im thinking bout what needs to come but feeling like im gonna be going alone