myself

I joke all the time I act like a Child to hind the darkness inside myself I barely sleep at night cause me and my demons fight all the time I guess me and my demons are friends i got no worries in the world devil chose me as his Child god took everything I love I hate myself for pretending to be someone else around the ones I love bad at finding love trying to get something I can't get my life is full of trauma I just want to kil myself I hate me I can't look at mirror cause I don't like want I see you don't know were I have been for me love ain't real I hate being me I like dark humor cause it makes me laugh at my hard times I seen people die seen people kill themselves I tried to hung myself but the robe broke down I don't why I survived I asked god to take my life I cry my self to sleep every night I got broken heart and mind broken soul I'm might look alive but I'm as dead as it could be everyone around me are jokers I lost my life in poker money makes me smile death makes feel alive I have seen dead people that it broke me down if my mom could see what's happening in her house she should would cry her daughter dispointed her her son is tired of life and wants to die