Lovin' U (22:36)

Seven years of pain yet here iam struggling and still yet I can't express explain or help you as well others understand why I would or in hopes u would give me another chance I never knew how hard it was n difficult it is to express share n give some one you love, but in the end I always held up to my end. all I can is make promises to be n show how much I can b a better man so you give me all ur pain, yet I still can change, I always try n do my best to understand. it's not easy depression and addiction took ova me Woahh, this song n lyrics are and always have been hard on me. it was always difficult to talk about this muchless express n now put this in my music for the world to hear I shoulda known, but Its all to late I should of listened and listened to all her screams m crys n got the help.. maybe things be different. but yet there's no way to tell. but instead I still got drawn back n to my addiction. constantly trying n trying n be more sneaky. but never work and screwed things more up might as wel say I treated the most beautiful loveing talented caring woman I loved as a side piece My greatest flaw is the demon and monster that onced lived inside me he was evil and worthless and never do I want it around his mane was addiction . I'm not playing victim, I did this, I don't need a constant reminder. or held in this place as everyone once n always mew me as.. but yet I over came and I did it I beat it n got clean from my most hated despised wish it never happed so called addiction. so now i put all my anger n feelings and I see scream into the mic n write it down n put it all in my music. but I now have a new struggle i always find myself writing songs about her I still think about her every day so far all my lyrics are feelings the were for her that I could never get out or build the courage to say. I wish I had gotten the help alot sooner. and not let my addiction gave up on us. so now every day I gotta live with my mistake constantly reminded not wanting to yet fighting demons, I'm dealing with the choices that I made. in this world u all be fucked up urself if u think different we all aren't perfect we make mistakes and we live n learn from it. everyone has an ugly past, that's what makes us who we are.. don't wanna talk about it now. all I'm doing is just search down deep n me of something that'll make her wanna come around to me I just wanna hear the words you always said. something about you n your voice and how u said it. but when u said you missed me I always love that sound You also loved me like no other woman as ever loved, can't believe how much I let you down. even though you stood beside me and tried to hold me down. but yet I let addiction take over me n it destroyed our love and me instead Seven years of pain yet here iam struggling and still yet I can't explain or help you as well others understand why I would or in hopes u would give me another chance I never knew how hard it was n difficult it is to express share n give some one you love, but in the end I always held up to my end. all I can is make promises to be n show how much I can b a better man so you give me all ur pain, yet I still can change, I always try n do my best to understand. it's not easy depression and addiction took ova me Woahh, this song n lyrics are hard on me. I know that you feel used disgusted and more so disappointed of me. u now have Grown and got sick n tired of me now that im sober n trying to walk in your shoes. seeing ur point of view it constanly breaks me down tears n rips me apart. how now I'll always be broken into two, u have the other half of me. always and will ever since I first laid my eyes n met u the first time and I hold the other have who's mentally torn scared a disgusted person once was when addiction was what was all of me. you can love me dispise or even hate me. it's so hard I can't even like or even say I have feelings or want nobody else, even though i have to but I can't n don't wanna let you go. clean n sober wishing this was never over. it's hard for me and I struggle daily sometimes its not easy but yet try to ease the pain but can't erase the pictures n memories of you that I still have in my my phone. all i want is to just hold n talk n see you, you but yet you make it so easy to reject n tell me no If only this distance n break up was just a test and it let everything go back to the way it was. but of course as much as we all know and all that have gone through this it never nor easy to move from. this. so I I have to n force my self to understand it's not its official it's over but the brighter side of this I'm 7 months clean n sober. yet I Can't stress enough, I miss your love, I miss your touch. even though I tried to forget you but yet I have to be real with u It so hard yet so far had no luck and all I want and need is more of you. 7 months all clean n sober.you're now my drug. I've always have and I'm addicted I need your love, lemme fix it please This was never meant to be. nor is it easy baby im sry I know I'm I'm difficult. I wish this addiction never acured or even broke us.