it is what it is

id been trying to figure this out but i think I got it now no reason to scream and shout yet i just sit and wonder how i did what i did no time to kidd not a moment to joke around it is what it is different from how id picture myself past gone done and over cant remember the bad memories faded away intentionally i only liked the moments that were happy wont ever forget the pain and misery trying to fight to breathe im always looking back and remembering us have i really crossed the line to lose all trust i try to do what i must to be another person inside yet trapped in my mind often stuck on old times i still dont get it i could stare into my children's eyes and see mine there attitudes are the same as well gonna grow into dangerous kids daddys whole world yet then again my mind still spins to twirl while I have twisted and unraveled my brain im trying to change still trying to figure out how i could have ever played these games i can only think ive made myself this way now indeed i might just be insane but i truly appreciate all the fake love and real hate shows me that with every step i take theres still something else to gain being fucked up with success is easy being sober with failure that im no longer blinded not to see is a fucking nightmare drugs seem to be what makes the dream work not teamwork i didn't go crazy the problems that I'd got sober so that being said my whole persona has changed that the ones i had next to me will never see me the same yet i could have done better well still i cant forget to remeber that if i had done better then i wouldn't have had the chance to meet the ones i have now calling me father meaning i wouldn't have my son or daughter so i don't regret where i stand because this battle with life trys to dehumanize every single person to the point we all forget about are family and friends especially the who'd always lend a hand no matter the situation