fading out

I sit around and I think of suicide so much dont really give a f*** about anything else I just walking around I give a f*** is that a bad idea or what endangering everyone around me every minute of the day most of her around me don't know that I could explode like a f****** grenade sending grenades razor blades all the way through to you cerebral cortex leaving you f***** up like my boy dex still can hold his head up or wipe his own ass that's got to be the greatest f***I'd be taking my pain pills saving them up till I know I had enough to blow my heart the f****** to numb my brain the fuck out I think I'm letting go I'm fading out