I'm cursed

I dont know why but man cursed/ I'm depressed and not easily impressed/ I'm either wavy or I'm stressed/ I'm paranoid and easily annoyed/ sick of having my heart destroyed/ lord give me strength and patience to fill this void/ l am sick of being here just to be toyed/ having pain always replacing the great moments we enjoyed/ I too ain't having back the time and energy man employed/ wish man know about my mental health before my head turned into this mess/ before everyday no longer bless/ sick always being the losing party in this love game of chess/ I'm Afro Portuguese mix race not halfcast/ I done with lust that shit never last/ man sick of always end up dwelling in the past/ sick of feeling lost and pretend life been fantastic/ I sound emotionless, lost mom,brother,wife,mother in law, auntie and uncle, my bad if I dont sound very enthusiastic/ why I got PTSD for I cant really pinpoint pretty much everything been quite traumatic/ man not even trying to sound dramatic/ hated from birth/ sick of constantly being questioned my worth/ some times I wonder is it just one of me in this earth/ I been seeking for happiness and peace but I guess 1000 life spans wouldn't be enough/ too many hater out there and you wonder why I look rough/ so what if i just want to paff paff pass and a laugh/ weather so shit man don't even feel like leaving the gaff/ I guess was a stillbirth for my other half/ I ain't doing for the views/ just letting you know I ain't no longer fuckin with yous/ I no longer ignoring the clues/ but man hanging my shoes/