Life cycle

I know I made some mistakes but that was all in my past/Now I'm out here tryna regain my ground real fast/And I don't understand the struggle, and I don't understand the pain/I don't understand why all of this is running through my brain/And it's running through my veins/And I feel I can't escape/And even when I try to overcome all of the hate/It feels like I just get locked tighter in this gate/And my heart begins to Shake/And my heart begins to frail/No matter what I do, I know I can't prevail/Before I even started, I already knew failed/And in case you couldn't tell/My life is on a Sail/And it just stared sinkin/Do I revert drinking/Or do I revert to prayer/Cuz even though I pray, my life's still in despair/Man this life really ain't fair/But you don't really care/Nah, You don't care that my life is in a drought/Where is all my life flowing, cuz I think I'm out/I don't feel nothing, we call that feeling lifeless/I don't feel nothing, when I used to feel righteous/I just keep feeling more empty at heart/My heart keeps on crumbling and falling apart/Yea, Do you know that feeling?/When you know you need some healing/But even though you know that, that pain still keeps on killin/And you know you can't escape it/And you know you can't erase it/So you hide from yo problems cuz it's just to hard to face it/You know you can't erase all of the things you've said/And just that in itself creates a whirlwind in your head/And you laying in yo bed/Create a list of your regrets/Make a list of all the thing and challenges you've met/And you feel like life is set/Yea, you can't get past the struggle/So you lock up In this bubble/Don't got nobody to cuddle/Cuz you can't even trust yo self to not get into trouble/So how she post to trust you, when love is on the line/When she don't even know if she's just wasting time Rappers go through depression tryna find yourself is so stressing.They talk about you cause they jealous.Buckle up social media reckless keep working to that necklace i remember when those girls always diss me now they hitting me up cuz they miss me all my life i've been dealing with bullies then when they stopped my dad just got out then went back in then my aunt died after that i tried to end my life with a sharp knife then i looked in the mirror and said i don't need to hang with the wrong pier but all along i was looking for a cure my dad was never there so when he left again he was such a stranger i didn't feel anger. Now they started calling cuz they see me balling