"'While I'm GoNe""

if I had one wish I'd wish I'd have done one thing different which is not keep my distance from the ones I love cuz it seems like I casted them out causing myself to miss out on any of life's milestones as I stayed out here on my own as my family sits there scared to answer the phone cuz they're afraid maybe found dead somewhere cuz I'm pushing my luck while I'm continuing to f****** like a dumb f*** I seem to be stuck unable to get past this addiction that has me out here running a muck looking for that come up or whatever means including s*** the stocks your bad dreams cuz I'm lost in the hustle as I do anything to survive I continue doing dirty deeds without ever holding back as I walk that same path that my father had losing his head so he met death with nothing left it's killing me cuz I claimed to be the better man but the fact is I'm just like my dad I'm sorry for all my bad choices sorry for burning those and try to give me a helping hand guess what I'm saying I wish I could make everything better cuz it seems like I'm doing my worst or like I've been cursed not sure how to put this into the right words so I'm just going to put it into this next verse sorry if you guys are feeling like I don't love and care about you cuz I'm never around always out there f****** around unable to slow down wish I could have done my life better sorry for not making you proud sorry for each time I got locked down and only then reached out I know I'm f****** up but this addiction got me stuck guess what I'm really saying I just want to thank you for never giving up even though I don't show it I'm thankful for each of you grateful for each thing each of you have done for me blessed for every time you guys help pick me up when I was feeling like life sucked and wanting to give up sorry for every time I've run away I just hope that you know that i love you and while I'm gone it's family and friends that I'm thinking of trust and Believe I love each and every one of you hope to one day to get past this addiction and give you guys all of my attention and showing you my love as I become a better father brother husband and son so with this song I'm just sending my love