too long!

on my way to heaven looking back at my transgressions its going to be a hurtful time when im recollecting being judged by the truth and not only my own confessions trying to explain how i was stressing nights full of depression it had my mind gone i try to knock on heavens door aint nobody home im hurting deep down within my core i fell to the floor for feeling like i don't belong im getting nervous trying to add up all my right and all my wrong thinking if i stayed strong and would've held on a little while long would this be a different song i took my own life one shot bang and i was gone and now i await the true and only sitting on the throne trying to pray i was grabbed up by the unknown fighting for my soul i smell the smoke then see the stone here the cries and the moans from my neighbors where im at will surely be my home looking from afar i see a light saying welcome home you are forgivin too long i been out here on these streets for too long.i been running from the past for too long i been trapped inside this system i been talking to this demon too long i been stuck inside my ways for too long i been dealing with this pain for too long and i don't know what to do im being caught in the roots i try to cut loose but i swear its too long it's like the same old book with the same old story its like i been here before and thats why i aint worried you rather see me in a casket in that cemetery. but you catching a body. is like the tooth fairy .it will never happen because you too scary i rather see the light being my life was never mary having my heart colder than ice in mid February being crossed by fake friends stabbed by real family everything happens for a reason like why am I still breathing i would've let you niggaz kill me couldn't leave my son grieving, help i think i need it fighting all these demons on the ice alone got me hearing ninjas creeping, pictures speaking,spirits screaming,on guard it's no sleeping, no eating we all living to die so i cant really find the reason. my life is all in pieces spreaded out like the regin who can i ever make it straight without taking a beaten