Anxiety stabbing me in the back again Happening sparaticly fathoming the social pathogen Infection of self inflicted sin traps you so fast in a black mass, crash with Furious wrath traps, driving you mad, Laugh at the devastating pain that I have Eating away all emotions of bliss Serotonin and dopamine no longer a midst I'm no longer alive, feel like I barely exist Another name on a list listen to this Nerves frayed from every end elastically snapping, zapping under my skin The more that you laugh the more that I cringe Hurt from the lies from the love that had died I swore to God I won't cry but could never realize Some can't empathize as they lie and hide behind their disguise Until they meet there demise never knew what it was like To contemplate suicide until I came to a place I couldn't visualise my intentions of delivering pain To the one who pulled the trigger as it enters my brain Impacting my skull, explosion penatrating bonetissue left clearly exposed I escape as a soul, my body grows cold But I can't feel the pain that has dug me this hole The pressure of life impaling with strife Like a knife slicing the thread to my sight Vision turns black, a fission, a crack In a moment my enemy finally collapsed Into the void my physical body destroyed Mechanical animations of the daily routine Slitting the fabric busting out of the seams(seems) life is only a dream Reality's springs tensing until the potential's released Exploding the broken fragments scatter like glass crashing Happenings of the past cause my uncontrollable laughing I wish I had what I needed to keep myself breathing But lately I'm seeing life has no meaning leaving me speachless Creeping death coming so slow that I'm sleeping Waiting and waiting, flipping through pages Turn to the barrel I'm facing the gauges There's no trace of my stages of struggle was painless Calming the storm of infinite rage is fatal and dangerous So my family I love you I hope that you know that But this life is so shitty I just can not go back To the same old me back to the days when I was younger The storm is still raging amplifing the thunder The spell that I'm under this hell that I comfort So much that I slumber in dystopias blunders God lead me to war but where the hell is my drummer I find a path to the easy way out there's no other