suicide note

All I wanna do is just die it's all meaningless i have nothing and nobody starting with my father's suicide making me want to cry and hide my mom just up and left me when I was 5 leaving them both gone and out I was left with nothing now I live in a fucking trailer park my life has always been dark a few hours ago I realized the only way out of this thing some people would call a life just end it with suicide some said I shouldn't but they just don't understand the feeling they are left with a nice and happy life while I only suffer I watch there happy lives thinking to myself that I want that but it won't happen that's why I'm making this song to hear it and decide if it's actually just wrong I loaded the gun I decide to look outside and I can't even see the sun just like my uncle Wayne there's gonna be a bullet in my brain should I did or just always cry I don't know