Who really cares

If i disappeared would you care if I run away would you dare? I told my therapist and everyone I'm ok but if they really knew me they would say I know you're not ok. I fight the demons inside my head along with the intrusive thoughts that never leave my brain. Everyone thinks i have it all together because i hide the pain. I've been loosing it when I'm all alone. The feeling of needing someone but knowing no ones there, because i feel like no one fucking cares.Somtimes i want to disappear just to see who really cares. Pushing everyone away cause i don't know how to say I'm not ok, they wouldn't understand me anyway. its not that i hate you i just need time and space. I'm just fighting with the voices in my mind. And maybe i got to good and used to hiding pain, smiling through it all like nothings wrong, put a fake facade on when I'm at my lowest like everything is ok, because my depression can tell lies, i may look like im ok but baby if you knew me you would know that it's a disguise. I told my therapist and everyone I'm ok but if they really knew me they would say I know you're not ok. I just got tired of being strong. Helping everyone else left me so empty and felt so wrong.