Feelings Out

I want to start off saying  that  it's true My sadness gets up at 2 in the morning I be mad at first then all of sudden   again I'm sad I don't understand why tho  it's only 4am dam man ..... Then  Again an again @ 5:30am After the snooze alarm goes off an I get up to get ready for the day  My sadness puts on a mask made of concealer mascara an eye liner.... to make it look like I'm ok ya feel my pain anyone understand I don't think anybody really even truly gives a dam about me only what I can do for them they know I will if I can  My pain y'all hides behind fake smiles that be there  everyday, An goes away soon  soon as everyone leaves fades away   My sadness is scared to leave me I guess or maybe my life was ment for it .....  I mean there is times were a smile peeks in an happiness is there  but  only to say  hello ... Then next thing you know bye Felisha see ya later goodbye  .....m My sadness dont show it's face    I see it the most in the morning when I look in the mirror before I put on  my conceler mascara eyeliner   I repeat  to myself over & over   nothing is wrong i Your ok breath  I really want to believe so bad that nothing is wrong ...   But  Then once I'm dressed an about ready to face the world   hoping the people in it don't see   my pain sadness that lingers around me ....    cause I'm only going 12miles an hour no car only a scooter I hate showing my face &  when people ask  me “how are you?” I repy...  “I’m  ok I'm groovy”  I don't let to many people even see me when I'm sad .....it's hard to hold back my sadness when I tell  stories well real not fictional but  true real life reality storys about my life ...  Hears some napkins cause no lie you might cry   being my sadness   it go days without leaving  and it does it's damnist to try to keep my smile away it locks my happiness up an it took the key  No. My sadness really shows through the poetry I write like now  I got music playing on  my earbuds   honestly  I'm hoping that one day a insiy binsy tiny bit  small bit of happiness will come my way knocking ... An maybe just maybe it'll stay seems tho  with my luck sadness doesn’t seem to  be walking or Going anywhere but by myside  ..... Now I wna take a bow thanks for listening to what I had to get out talk about IM OUT....